Character Enjoyment.

Remy

Seeing as this is the first time we’ve done this, I decided to go in a completely new direction for me. Now, I am a die-hard Jasper fan-girl. I despise Edward Cullen with a passion. Well, Canon-ward. But there are more than a few amazing characterizations of Edward kicking about, and these are just a select few.

Edward Wallbanger - Feathersmmmm

Not only is this story piss-your-pants funny, it also has one of my favorite Edward’s ever. Wallbanger, or as he’s referred to in chapter 6 ‘Edward Wallbanger, Director Of The International House Of Orgasms’ . Edward is funny, irritating, sweet, occasionally obnoxious and devastatingly sexy. Honest to god, the boy has magical panty-disintegrating powers. His interactions with Bella, once they get past their initial hatred of each other, is hilarious and witty and charming and ohh. I love him. I really do.

“This gorgeous, smart, sexy, highly fuckable girl that was separated only by a few inches of thin plaster was dreaming about me, and apparently I was doing a very good job of pleasing her. Why wasn't I on the other side of that wall tonight? Beats the shit out of me”

And as an added bonus? Bella and Clive? Just as fucking awesome.

Clipped Wings & Inked Armour - Hunter Hunting

It kind of kills me that this amazing, awesome story is no longer on FFNet, but HunterHunting has posted it on her blog and the link will take you to it’s table of contents. But, moving swiftly to the main attraction. This is a Tattward story. And, in my personal opinion, it’s the ultimate Tattward story. With the ultimate Tattward. A dark and broody tattoo artist with a heart-breakingly tragic, fucked up past and frankly, an uncontrollable boner, well, whenever a certain doe-eyed leading lady is around at least. He has temper issues, he’s really pretty badass, and he absolutely loves cupcakes. Really, what more do you need?

“But what woke my dick right the fuck up with the fact that she was wearing a pair of what looked like satin shorts, and an apron with...wait...are those?...no...yes...fuck me...those are cupcakes on it. And that was all”


The Naked Guy Upstairs - AngryBadgerGirl

I’m going to make a proclamation right here. I <3> TNGUS. He’s just so fucking…awesome. And cocky, arrogant, sweet, devilishly charming. And, in the very first chapter, naked. Out of the three Edward’s here on the Character Mention, TNGUS may actually be my favorite. At first he’s kind of an ass, but he quickly befriends Bella, showing a ridiculously sweet and adorkable side, which even he doesn’t really realize he has. Few stories have characters that go through quite the extensive evolution that TNGUS goes through in this fucktabulous story. He starts of as a cocky, arrogant asshole, but quickly comes to realize that the person who makes him better, happier and more whole is Bella, or Brown Eyes, and that he just might help her too.


“This is the most obvious and inconspicuous ploy to engage in frottage but I pretend not to notice. My dick isn't as good an actor as I am and immediately senses the close proximity of her vagina rubbing itself all over my crotch.”

Sarah

First off, I did mine on various characters, unlike Remy. I found a lot that I enjoyed, and I couldn't just seem to pick -one.-

Oracle Vas - First Love Lost, Last love Found.

I don't know what it was about the way she written Jasper, but honestly, I adored him. Completely, and utterly adored him. He just made me want to take him into my arms, and whisk him away to safety. He's insecure, unstable, has violent tendencies, yet is completely devoted to Bella in an almost psychotic way. But you can still see how much he needs her, wants her, and how she affects him with every little thing she does. However, the only thing I never really enjoyed, was the fact that he left her. It reminded me way too much of Edward from the Twilight series. Really? Fuck you too. However, I practically squealed with delight every time I noticed the story had been updated. It broke my heart to see how Jasper faltered and stumbled around Bella. Went from using and abusing with a fucked up childhood, to trying to be everything for the girl he loved, and his unborn son. He fucked up, but he tried to overcome it too. He has a desire, however, to do everything on his own. The independence got him in a bit of a mess a couple times, too.

Pure Morning by eyesopenwide.

Honestly, I love how she managed to twist Bella into this fuckhot babe that totally just rules the world. She's crude, crass, bitchy and violent. She's into sex, alcohol, weed, the entire shindig, and while this may not be your cup of tea, I completely loved how it all played together. It wasn't over the top, she didn't stick out too much, and it fit. She wasn't being walked over like you see in most stories where the hero of the day rushes to rescue her, no, she takes care of the situation herself. Also, the pranks she pulled? Hilarious. I was cracking up during the reading of this story, and honestly, I can't wait to see how Bella adapts further along. She's a rebel, she's a bitch, and she knows what she's saying and doing. Did I mention, she rides a bike? I'm sorry, but Bella on a bike? Sexy. The "I don't give a fuck" is very apparent early on, too. All in all, I give eyesopenwide some props for how she threw Bella together. I -love- it.

Catonspeed - The last mile.

Honestly, how many characters can I mention from this story? I love how she made Bella into a I don't give a fuck, sarcastic and witty person. Almost every sentence Bella says has me giggling, or almost pissing from laughter. I absolutely enjoy the way she has Bella fighting through her life. Sarcasm, and insane thoughts galore is what is in the mind of that Bella, and if you hadn't read the story by now, I'll warn you. She's psycho, and the random things she spouts will make her piss in your pants from laughing so hard, your lungs eventually combust inside your chest, and you die. True facts.

Honestly, I'm going to mention every character that I find important in this story. Peter. Peter is all sorts of giggles and shit. The way he acts around Bella, makes me giggle because of the thoughts that were inspired by his actions. We first met him as Chairpire. Then as the story progressed, he eventually turned into something entirely different. But he amuses and annoys Bella, so it's all worth the giggles!

Charlotte. That little hotflash of walkin' sex is Bella's newest friend. They are a lot alike, too. They scheme, and plot against Peter and Jasper, together. Shoes? Charlotte has them, and Bella wants them.

Jasper. Jasper makes me giggle. He is so tongue-tied by the new Bella, that he sometimes just stares into space, for so many seconds, and thinks. Thinks. Thinks. Then gets called J-emo. Or emopire. Bella likes to pull shit on Jasper, too. And it's all just so hilarious, and fits together in such a scheme that all the character's just benefit the crazy that is Bella. All in all, I give you props, Catonspeed, for the fuckery that is The Last Mile characters! I love them!